When was the last time you questioned your existence?...When was the last time you looked for reasons to live?..When was the last time you questioned the norms of the society?..When was the last time you considered the possibility maybe life is meaningless after all? But the truth is life's true meaning lies in kindness. This was how I always began my speeches. I was a motivational speaker and a philanthropist.
It's easy to think life has no meaning or to stop looking for one than working towards making it meaningful. What had i done to live while Johnson was not here? I've been asking myself this questions a lot these days. We were both kidney patients waiting for what seemed to be eternity for a donor that never came at least for Johnson. I was distracted from my thoughts by the good looking nurse and her strong perfume. She looked to good to be a nurse or maybe it was the drugs that got to my head. Anyways a good looking nurse for the price i paid was not such a big fuss.
"Money isn't the solution to everything" Johnson once told me how I would love to say that to his face right now, I am alive and you're dead how's that for starter. I met him during the dialysis sessions. He was to cheerful to be there and i mistook him for a ward boy and asked for a cup of coffee and he came back with it with a large smile on his face "You do realize I am not the ward boy". Maybe it was my pain and anger and to an extent his clothing that resulted in that unintentional mistake. That was the start of short but impact full relationship.
He was a happy and cheerful guy much to my dismay. He would talk endlessly mostly abut bright and happy thing. He talked about how he loved life. About the beautiful colors of life. He even told us the story of how as a child he almost ran away twenty kilometer from his home chasing a rainbow on his bike and the furious and tearful reunion that followed late at night. How his father almost raised his hand and how his mother held him close to her and cried the whole night.
I would often talk about the different community I had joined or created that were helping the underprivileged people. My charity mission to third world countries. He loved to listen to my stories that I felt were very engaging. I knew that my specialty was the fact that I could so well describe people's pain that was what I counted on in siphoning funds from the rich. I was known by a lot of people thanks to the media publicizing my philanthropist efforts and then there was my family that had left me a large fortune and not much to do it with.
When the doctors told Jhonson that his condition was critical and that without a donor he would be dead in a few months he told us about it with tears and with what I thought was fear of death. I thought of him to be a kind of people that sit idly in life without ever making any efforts towards beautifying it. He was the kind of average everyday man you see on the road walking about with mind set on his own selfish needs. This was what motivated me towards charity.
Two weeks later when the doctor told me the same thing I was shaken but maintained myself well for a few days often smiling and telling people how I didn't fear death and how it would be nice to see my creator once again but within a week the fear got to me I was afraid of death I was afraid of losing everything I created, everything I worked for. I called up doctors and friends begging and crying for a solution, for a second chance. Then a doctor I once met in a third world country on a charitable missions contacted me back
"You do know that the transplant list is hard to alter so I don't think you have much chance if you go by it only
But something out of the list could be arranged if you're willing to pay"
At first I thought he was talking about alternate medicine or drug testing something but soon I understood his meaning. Two weeks later I was on a plane to lesser known corner of the world where there was no need for waiting on the list if you have enough money and not many chances of getting caught. Besides if I got caught I would loose my reputation but if I didn't go I would loose my life. reputation suddenly seemed not worth much.
"Fear of losing something can change you in many ways" I told that to Jhonson once and now I was experiencing it first hand. I had seen death before I had worked with people cursed with death, people forced into starvation, wars and even illness. I had always tried to act hard and carry on helping them but now i realized it was not the warmth in my hear that inspired me but it was the fear of death that moved me forward in my efforts, I could face everything but death. The guilt for doing what I was doing made me meet up with the man whose kidney I would receive I wrote a large sum to him just to trade my guilt with his happiness but still...........
A month after the operation I was invited to Jhonson's funeral.
Johnson's funeral was a large affair there were a lot of people and many from my dialysis sessions. There were sum from his charity organization and a lot who told stories of how he had helped them. He surely was a popular man, I thought there really were a lot of people he made sad by going away. I wondered if he had enough money would he had taken the chance parted with his ideal of social justice to live a few more years. I sat next to a girl who seemed to be blind and utterly broken. "Did you know him for long?"
"No just a few days before his deaths"
She seemed to broken up for a acquaintance of a few day.
Maybe he was having a affair with her although she was blind she surely was beautiful and she feared to admit it publicly. I could not resist myself i wanted to know.
"You seem to broken up, he left a pretty hard impression on you"
for a moment i thought she saw right through my comment and understood my intentions, They do say that people who lose one of their senses, develop a sixth sense that helps them to survive in this harsh world.
"He gave up his life with a smile and helped two people gain sum thing they had given up on" She got up and left to pay her condolences to his family. There really was something going on, of which I was not fully aware of.
Later at the burial I met James he two was on dialysis. buzzing with anxiety I asked him about the girl
While I was still taking to the man the girl went up to speak a few words for jhonson, and like most people out there she had my full attention.
" I met Mr.Jjhonsann in a park, i was there to hear the early morning song of the bird's, which are one of the few delicacies of my life that i enjoy to the fullest. after his kidney failed he could not walk much so he like me would sit on the benches and enjoy the beauty of nature. We started talking after some time and soon we became very good friends. We talked about the joys and sorrows in our life everyday sitting on the park bench. I remember him saying this one day "I had been so engrossed in my own personal life and selfish needs I never cared for other people the unfortunate ones"we all hear a lot of people say these things but the truth is as sudden is this realization's emergence so is its disappearance, Jhonson was no exception. It was a week after he was told he did not have much time left that he called me and we talked about life and its meaning for a long time. to comfort him I talked about doner list, how even after being in it for years we will still could not get the organs we needed, to make our life beautiful again, The constant pain we suffered due to negligence of people. He listened silently as I cursed the negligence of people like you and me and that's when he realized that he and even I was no different. I was crying on the line and cursing. He kept listening silently.I never saw him I never knew what he was like from the outside but from the inside, I was sure that he was one hell of a man, After our last phone conversation he agreed to donate his eyes and the day of his death I made it through the list. I can't be sure but I would like to believe that it will be his eyes with which I will see the world. The eyes of a friend and a inspiration. He told me once that "Fear of losing something can change you in many ways" guess Jhonson changed in the good way. He was a great kind hearted man who new what it meant to sacrifice and bring joy in other people's life."
She was filled with tears and had to be helped back to her seat. Her speech did help subsidies the growing flames of questions inside me but there still was one that I needed to know.
I caught up with her later after the service "you said he helped change two life's, I get one of them was yours who was the other?"
After a long silence she said "Theodore, the kid he adopted. He donated all his money for the care and welfare of the kid. He even started a small charity group with a few of his friend and family named it after the guy he termed his inspiration as a one ........."
It's easy to think life has no meaning or to stop looking for one than working towards making it meaningful. What had i done to live while Johnson was not here? I've been asking myself this questions a lot these days. We were both kidney patients waiting for what seemed to be eternity for a donor that never came at least for Johnson. I was distracted from my thoughts by the good looking nurse and her strong perfume. She looked to good to be a nurse or maybe it was the drugs that got to my head. Anyways a good looking nurse for the price i paid was not such a big fuss.
"Money isn't the solution to everything" Johnson once told me how I would love to say that to his face right now, I am alive and you're dead how's that for starter. I met him during the dialysis sessions. He was to cheerful to be there and i mistook him for a ward boy and asked for a cup of coffee and he came back with it with a large smile on his face "You do realize I am not the ward boy". Maybe it was my pain and anger and to an extent his clothing that resulted in that unintentional mistake. That was the start of short but impact full relationship.
He was a happy and cheerful guy much to my dismay. He would talk endlessly mostly abut bright and happy thing. He talked about how he loved life. About the beautiful colors of life. He even told us the story of how as a child he almost ran away twenty kilometer from his home chasing a rainbow on his bike and the furious and tearful reunion that followed late at night. How his father almost raised his hand and how his mother held him close to her and cried the whole night.
I would often talk about the different community I had joined or created that were helping the underprivileged people. My charity mission to third world countries. He loved to listen to my stories that I felt were very engaging. I knew that my specialty was the fact that I could so well describe people's pain that was what I counted on in siphoning funds from the rich. I was known by a lot of people thanks to the media publicizing my philanthropist efforts and then there was my family that had left me a large fortune and not much to do it with.
When the doctors told Jhonson that his condition was critical and that without a donor he would be dead in a few months he told us about it with tears and with what I thought was fear of death. I thought of him to be a kind of people that sit idly in life without ever making any efforts towards beautifying it. He was the kind of average everyday man you see on the road walking about with mind set on his own selfish needs. This was what motivated me towards charity.
Two weeks later when the doctor told me the same thing I was shaken but maintained myself well for a few days often smiling and telling people how I didn't fear death and how it would be nice to see my creator once again but within a week the fear got to me I was afraid of death I was afraid of losing everything I created, everything I worked for. I called up doctors and friends begging and crying for a solution, for a second chance. Then a doctor I once met in a third world country on a charitable missions contacted me back
"You do know that the transplant list is hard to alter so I don't think you have much chance if you go by it only
But something out of the list could be arranged if you're willing to pay"
At first I thought he was talking about alternate medicine or drug testing something but soon I understood his meaning. Two weeks later I was on a plane to lesser known corner of the world where there was no need for waiting on the list if you have enough money and not many chances of getting caught. Besides if I got caught I would loose my reputation but if I didn't go I would loose my life. reputation suddenly seemed not worth much.
"Fear of losing something can change you in many ways" I told that to Jhonson once and now I was experiencing it first hand. I had seen death before I had worked with people cursed with death, people forced into starvation, wars and even illness. I had always tried to act hard and carry on helping them but now i realized it was not the warmth in my hear that inspired me but it was the fear of death that moved me forward in my efforts, I could face everything but death. The guilt for doing what I was doing made me meet up with the man whose kidney I would receive I wrote a large sum to him just to trade my guilt with his happiness but still...........
A month after the operation I was invited to Jhonson's funeral.
Johnson's funeral was a large affair there were a lot of people and many from my dialysis sessions. There were sum from his charity organization and a lot who told stories of how he had helped them. He surely was a popular man, I thought there really were a lot of people he made sad by going away. I wondered if he had enough money would he had taken the chance parted with his ideal of social justice to live a few more years. I sat next to a girl who seemed to be blind and utterly broken. "Did you know him for long?"
"No just a few days before his deaths"
She seemed to broken up for a acquaintance of a few day.
Maybe he was having a affair with her although she was blind she surely was beautiful and she feared to admit it publicly. I could not resist myself i wanted to know.
"You seem to broken up, he left a pretty hard impression on you"
for a moment i thought she saw right through my comment and understood my intentions, They do say that people who lose one of their senses, develop a sixth sense that helps them to survive in this harsh world.
"He gave up his life with a smile and helped two people gain sum thing they had given up on" She got up and left to pay her condolences to his family. There really was something going on, of which I was not fully aware of.
Later at the burial I met James he two was on dialysis. buzzing with anxiety I asked him about the girl
While I was still taking to the man the girl went up to speak a few words for jhonson, and like most people out there she had my full attention.
" I met Mr.Jjhonsann in a park, i was there to hear the early morning song of the bird's, which are one of the few delicacies of my life that i enjoy to the fullest. after his kidney failed he could not walk much so he like me would sit on the benches and enjoy the beauty of nature. We started talking after some time and soon we became very good friends. We talked about the joys and sorrows in our life everyday sitting on the park bench. I remember him saying this one day "I had been so engrossed in my own personal life and selfish needs I never cared for other people the unfortunate ones"we all hear a lot of people say these things but the truth is as sudden is this realization's emergence so is its disappearance, Jhonson was no exception. It was a week after he was told he did not have much time left that he called me and we talked about life and its meaning for a long time. to comfort him I talked about doner list, how even after being in it for years we will still could not get the organs we needed, to make our life beautiful again, The constant pain we suffered due to negligence of people. He listened silently as I cursed the negligence of people like you and me and that's when he realized that he and even I was no different. I was crying on the line and cursing. He kept listening silently.I never saw him I never knew what he was like from the outside but from the inside, I was sure that he was one hell of a man, After our last phone conversation he agreed to donate his eyes and the day of his death I made it through the list. I can't be sure but I would like to believe that it will be his eyes with which I will see the world. The eyes of a friend and a inspiration. He told me once that "Fear of losing something can change you in many ways" guess Jhonson changed in the good way. He was a great kind hearted man who new what it meant to sacrifice and bring joy in other people's life."
She was filled with tears and had to be helped back to her seat. Her speech did help subsidies the growing flames of questions inside me but there still was one that I needed to know.
I caught up with her later after the service "you said he helped change two life's, I get one of them was yours who was the other?"
After a long silence she said "Theodore, the kid he adopted. He donated all his money for the care and welfare of the kid. He even started a small charity group with a few of his friend and family named it after the guy he termed his inspiration as a one ........."
No comments:
Post a Comment