Tony wasn't the brightest kid in his block and he understood it well. He shied away from tests and rarely spoke in the class. He had no friends or at-least real ones. His home was warm, his parents loved him but something was not right with him. He messed up things he was afraid of new things, no not afraid he was shaken to death by them. he preferred things to go in an orderly fashion, a fashion he was familiar with cause when things got out of order so did his brain it thought of thousand possibility at once and their outcomes and he never new which one was more favorable for him. In his own words he had lost confidence in himself and was just staggering along in his life for support.
It was a school trip and as usual he was sitting alone in a quiet corner a few people had called him over to walk with them but he had politely refused because he knew no one actually cared at-least not for him. while he was trying to be alone a man came along. Seeing him he thought of getting up and leaving but thought that would be too impolite of him so he decided to sit for a little while longer.
"It's so calm in here and so maddening out there" tony looked at the man he seemed tob e speaking to the air in front of him.
he felt nervous and was trying to get up "Leaving already are you kid? you don't need to be afraid i may bark but i don't bite".
"No its just that.." he dialed to find words to justify his actions.
"You're afraid aren't you? i notices how you shied away from you friends into this much unseen corner"
"No i am not and they aren't exactly my friends"
but the man wasn't listening to him anymore he was keenly looking at the dogs who were fighting over a pack of garbage for their much deserved share of it.
"Isn't it strange how they can have such low expectations from them but not us?"
"They're animals" Tony pointed out
"Yeah and so are we what they aren't teaching you that these days or is it just monkeys for you hitech clowns?"
Tony didn't want to argue into the complexity of biology and evolution with a man who placed humans in same category as wild untamed dog besides there were a thousand questions ariving in his mind. Who was this man? why did he notice him? Why was he talking to him? was he a kidnapper?or maybe child moester? he was just a few nervous impulses away from running like a mad men from there
"It's good to think ahead, but do not doubt the present for it"
Somehow the man was getting more and more interesting to tony and even though it was against his nature he choose to sit through this.
"I do that think ahead of me it is at times like these i need to look at these animals and tell myself its really not all that complicated"
Somehow it made sense to tony he understood what this man meant cause he did it all the time. For a moment tony considered he was sent by god to enlighten him about his goals and make better use of his life.
"Hell even my wife fails to understand me, She's a chatter box you know just keeps talking about thins. I fail to understand her even after all these years. but i ain't really that complicated you know even my doctor said that i was one of the most straihforward and simple man he ever met"
And suddenly tony was again doubting his decision to sit through this maybe he wasn't what he thought after all. Maybe he didn't understand him after all, maybe he was just another guy fed up and wanting to have someone to complain to. Suddenly a cold breeze started flowing and tony could almost feel a null in that crowded head of his.
"The breeze it clears the mind boy. don't it?"
Tony nodded in agrement a thing he seldomly did, fearing the repercussion, having a opinon can have.
The silence grew once again and Tony became so lost int the sceneary he almost forgot about the man sitting by his side he had transceded ito a dream world where everything worked so slow that there was no need to make sense out of it anymore but he was brought back by the heavy voice. The voice felt like the pressing weight of paperweight against the flying sheets of his thoughts.
"the greatest man on earth are not those who make a right decision its those who stick with theirs no matter how wrong the other tells him it is. I'll tell you a little secret boy a man doubt is man's tool to gain knowledge and to destroy it a great many scholars were born because they doubted what the world told them and even greater destroyed because they doubted themselves for the world."
tony knew he wasn't great and maybe he never could be the man had lost him there, tony had no intention of being great, He just wanted to see and think clearly not too see so many possibilites tother not to think ahead of times all he wanted was to think straight.. Tony didn't speak he didn't look at him neither did he but yet stil something was taking shape between them.
"I could never believe in myself, i always was afraid to choose it was one day that my grandfather saw the hesitation in me and he said why are afraid my child to choose what are you afraid of one way or other you'll end up like me old and broken so ain't it better that it be you're choice that breaks you than one imposed on you by others"
He looked up at the sky as if sumwhere p there he saw the man looking up from him
"That day something struck a chord with me kid. The speech he gave maybe simple but the eyes that looked into my soul and engraved those word's on them were not, something changed i took little steps at first but soon i was what i always wanted to be calm."
"It's not that i still don't think in a complicated way, It's just that once i am through thinking i never give another though about it. It costs but its the price of peace and calmness"
The silence followed once again this time it was a soft drizzle,Something was taking shape and the cold breeze had taken a physical and more visible form in the form of the rain drops that touched him. The man got up and started leaving. Tony didn't ask him to stop didn't as him his name and just like the drizzle he disappeared. Tony decided something in that crowded head of his. He got up and came across a group of boys talking and gigling and playing. He came up to them and said mind if i join in.
On the bus back to school tony thought in his head that he had found something in that man that he wanted to grow up to,the man gave him something he was looking for since so long, whether he was aware of it or not
he did not know, what he was tony didn't care it was what he felt him to be that mattered to him the man had given him a reason to try. The peace and calm of the man was something he wanted to have a part of and to grow up to it, "A benchmark".
It was a school trip and as usual he was sitting alone in a quiet corner a few people had called him over to walk with them but he had politely refused because he knew no one actually cared at-least not for him. while he was trying to be alone a man came along. Seeing him he thought of getting up and leaving but thought that would be too impolite of him so he decided to sit for a little while longer.
"It's so calm in here and so maddening out there" tony looked at the man he seemed tob e speaking to the air in front of him.
he felt nervous and was trying to get up "Leaving already are you kid? you don't need to be afraid i may bark but i don't bite".
"No its just that.." he dialed to find words to justify his actions.
"You're afraid aren't you? i notices how you shied away from you friends into this much unseen corner"
"No i am not and they aren't exactly my friends"
but the man wasn't listening to him anymore he was keenly looking at the dogs who were fighting over a pack of garbage for their much deserved share of it.
"Isn't it strange how they can have such low expectations from them but not us?"
"They're animals" Tony pointed out
"Yeah and so are we what they aren't teaching you that these days or is it just monkeys for you hitech clowns?"
Tony didn't want to argue into the complexity of biology and evolution with a man who placed humans in same category as wild untamed dog besides there were a thousand questions ariving in his mind. Who was this man? why did he notice him? Why was he talking to him? was he a kidnapper?or maybe child moester? he was just a few nervous impulses away from running like a mad men from there
"It's good to think ahead, but do not doubt the present for it"
Somehow the man was getting more and more interesting to tony and even though it was against his nature he choose to sit through this.
"I do that think ahead of me it is at times like these i need to look at these animals and tell myself its really not all that complicated"
Somehow it made sense to tony he understood what this man meant cause he did it all the time. For a moment tony considered he was sent by god to enlighten him about his goals and make better use of his life.
"Hell even my wife fails to understand me, She's a chatter box you know just keeps talking about thins. I fail to understand her even after all these years. but i ain't really that complicated you know even my doctor said that i was one of the most straihforward and simple man he ever met"
And suddenly tony was again doubting his decision to sit through this maybe he wasn't what he thought after all. Maybe he didn't understand him after all, maybe he was just another guy fed up and wanting to have someone to complain to. Suddenly a cold breeze started flowing and tony could almost feel a null in that crowded head of his.
"The breeze it clears the mind boy. don't it?"
Tony nodded in agrement a thing he seldomly did, fearing the repercussion, having a opinon can have.
The silence grew once again and Tony became so lost int the sceneary he almost forgot about the man sitting by his side he had transceded ito a dream world where everything worked so slow that there was no need to make sense out of it anymore but he was brought back by the heavy voice. The voice felt like the pressing weight of paperweight against the flying sheets of his thoughts.
"the greatest man on earth are not those who make a right decision its those who stick with theirs no matter how wrong the other tells him it is. I'll tell you a little secret boy a man doubt is man's tool to gain knowledge and to destroy it a great many scholars were born because they doubted what the world told them and even greater destroyed because they doubted themselves for the world."
tony knew he wasn't great and maybe he never could be the man had lost him there, tony had no intention of being great, He just wanted to see and think clearly not too see so many possibilites tother not to think ahead of times all he wanted was to think straight.. Tony didn't speak he didn't look at him neither did he but yet stil something was taking shape between them.
"I could never believe in myself, i always was afraid to choose it was one day that my grandfather saw the hesitation in me and he said why are afraid my child to choose what are you afraid of one way or other you'll end up like me old and broken so ain't it better that it be you're choice that breaks you than one imposed on you by others"
He looked up at the sky as if sumwhere p there he saw the man looking up from him
"That day something struck a chord with me kid. The speech he gave maybe simple but the eyes that looked into my soul and engraved those word's on them were not, something changed i took little steps at first but soon i was what i always wanted to be calm."
"It's not that i still don't think in a complicated way, It's just that once i am through thinking i never give another though about it. It costs but its the price of peace and calmness"
The silence followed once again this time it was a soft drizzle,Something was taking shape and the cold breeze had taken a physical and more visible form in the form of the rain drops that touched him. The man got up and started leaving. Tony didn't ask him to stop didn't as him his name and just like the drizzle he disappeared. Tony decided something in that crowded head of his. He got up and came across a group of boys talking and gigling and playing. He came up to them and said mind if i join in.
On the bus back to school tony thought in his head that he had found something in that man that he wanted to grow up to,the man gave him something he was looking for since so long, whether he was aware of it or not
he did not know, what he was tony didn't care it was what he felt him to be that mattered to him the man had given him a reason to try. The peace and calm of the man was something he wanted to have a part of and to grow up to it, "A benchmark".
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