Ratul ke khanaiyaan Part-3

Ratul, more or less, is a phenomenon. No matter how much you love him or hate him, he is always there right in your ass. Some people like us know it beforehand. But some realize it the hard way. Like you have been told, he is a gossip bitch. You better know when to believe him (never) and when not to believe him(need I say more?). Satan himself here, just lacking those horns and a pointy tail protruding out of his fat bums. You better beware of his Satanic Verses.

There sat alone on a lonely bench in a corner of the playgorund a sad FOREVER ALONE(better known as Sector-4 ka ashique, Why and how he got that seat is not a matter of debate but of spectacle) He was given this  guy, fed up with life and way the things were going. That's the exact moment what SATAN looks for, and there he was, Ratul walking clumsily along with his fast friend Dawat. He smelled his prey from a distance and walked upto him, his evil mind already upto something.

Ratul:"AUR BHAI kya haal hai?"
F.A guy: Bass bhai zinda hai. Ap batao"
Ratul : Main to humesha hi mast reheta hu.( He said with the evilness flowing out through every hole of his body. YEAH EVERY HOLE)

Ratul looked around and saw a not so beautiful girl(I wasn't present there so just to muster up that girl's courage I will refer to her as the beautiful blond) walking around in the ground(was she with a dog? Well you see for some strange reason girls, dog and prak always fall in to each other). Ratul had his plan ready by now. Now I don't know the detail but I do hear that he gave A sinister ringing laugh before he made the first move of his well executed plan(Just saying :P)

Ratul: Aur bhai koi bandi vandi banai?
F.A Guy : Kahan yaar? Humaari Kahan se bandi banegi.(Maybe this was his moment of truth)
Ratul : ABE KYUn. Saale smart haii tu, personality bhi hai. Tari to bandi honi hi chahiye." (NEVER EVER BELIEVE HIM)
"Damn,, he is upto it, AGAIN" Dawat thought.

F.A guy: MAzaak kar raha hai na tu? (See even he knew it!! But its the goddamned flickering ray of hope that screws mankind everytime, That and offcurse our beloved Ratul)
He asked with a bit serious tone like he wanted to believe what our little demon said.

RATUL : "BHAI mai mazaak kabhi karta hun?(Well this question must be put in ncert books just to check the stupidity of a person answer yes - he will Pass, No-well he's gonna be screwed anyways so just let the poor guy pass anyway :P) Kher wo bandi dekh raha hai jo ghum rahi hai."

F.A : Hain!! kyun?

Ratul :WO tujhe shayad pasand karti hai.
F.A : Kya baat kar raha hai?
F.A guy sounded a bit excited(offcourse he was excited his blood pumping his adrenaline on a all time high and well his IQ hitting the below shit bar)

Ratul: Abe SHAYAD bol raha hun. PAKKA nahi hai. Wo tere baare mein baat kar rahi thi kal.
F.A: Bhai mazaak mat kar.(You see how his IQ keeps on bedgerring him just like a person's consious about to make a mistake)
RATUL: ABE mujhe kya milega aisa mazaak karke.(Except for a few laughs nothing much!)
F.A: Haan wo bhi hai.(Now this is the moment where the IQ is nummed by the throbbing sensation inside you're pants. So much so that you forget that It's the devil's Indian version with a smaller hight and bigger belly you're talking to)
Ratul: Ek kaam kar aaj usse jaake bol hi de.
F.a : Na bhai main aise hi thik hu.
RATUL : ABe nuksaan kya hoga tera. Agar haan boldi to tere maze ha, na boldi to tu kaunsa usko pasand karta hai ya serious hai. Tu bhi to maze hi le raha hai.
f.a : YE BAAT TO SAHI HAI. PAR FIRBHI REHEN DE.
Ratul: Yaar, try to kar. Main chalta hu tere saath. Dekh bhai to shakal se ekdum dukhi lag raha hai. Mujhe ye bilkul pasand nahi. Try marde uspar, aur agar haan bolti hai to tu dukhi nahi rahega.

WITH little more persuasion Ratul had his Chicken in the bag.Poor F.A guy had no idea he had turned into a mere puppet for his laughter. F.A guy walked with confidence towards the girl (Confidence was due to dramatic Ratul's persuasion. He knows how to turn things on). Following close behind were Ratul and Rabit.Soon F.A guywalked upto the Blonde girl  and started talking(Now you realize why I had been making fun of the F.A guy before. He had fucking balls to talk to random girls. on the other hand shy guy likeme end up writing about it. Guess the least I can do is make fun of him)
F.A guy : Ah! Hi. I wanted to say something to you.
Blond Girl: Yes, go ahead.
F.A guy : I kind of like you and wanted to ask will you be my friend.
The Blond girl looked stunned, and took a good look of the F.A guy with big wide eyes(Now I never had to cope up with a random girl coming up and saying I like you to me, So I would not like to make a comment on her feelings and emotions. I had a theory but thats too harsh for our blondie). Near you could hear Ratul snickering under his breath. He had got his Spicy gossip of the week.
Blonde Girl: Ah! I appreciate your proposal(This here is why I called her blond. How in hell could she appreciate anyhting about our F.A Guy she should have ran home crying and registered a case of severe mental trauma agains both the crime commiting party and the instigator(Mr.Ratul)) but you are the same age as my big bro. Sorry.(Now this is Shocking underage girl! Or was she? Or maybe she was blowing him off)
So here we are Discussing a soul crushing event that left horror marks on a Blondie and a young F.A Guy due to the mischief of the devil himself. But atleast you and I could get a little laughter out of this incident. Three weeks later in my first encounter of the F.A Guy he was up and running proposing to random girls walking in the park. Guess the marks left on him were not that great but as you may know the mark left on his image due to raul's retelling of the tale were well pretty much true.
Note:- Yes the guy is still roaming around freely in the district of sector-4 R.K.Puram and is good friend with the mentioned partied and the original author of the post (aditya ) So girls beware next time a sad looking Forever Alone Guy approaches you in the district of Sector-4 !!RUN!! RUN!!
Damn the blondie !! If only she had reported the matter !! Sector-4 would have been a safer place.

"This Is a satirical post and no offence is meant to anyone including our lead chracter mr.Ratul and the blondie (I have no idea who she is) and Mr F.A Guy ( Whose guts I hate :( )."

Next time we'll go into the making of ratul the true story behind the beast and its making.


                                                               -Aditya Samadhiya